💔LightSearch - How Dare You!💡

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, 2025 has been an eye-opening and jaw-dropping year. Knowing exactly where we stood with our relatives-well, nowhere, because they simply didn’t give a damn about our well-being-and discovering what these people (or rather, strangers) thought and said about us behind our backs was the initial inspiration for my album LightSearch.

The lies.

The made-up stories.

The quiet character assassination.

While I was working on the tracks, another moment of brutal clarity followed. One single email and a phone conversation with a close family member-the closest someone can be after your parents-became yet another wake-up call this year.

When you experience ice-cold, distant, indifferent, unsupportive, unkind, and uncaring behavior for decades, it becomes your normal. You tell yourself, That’s just how this person is. You accept that not everyone is kind, sincere, empathetic, or warm-hearted.

What never crosses your mind is this:

That this person doesn’t just lack kindness - but actually hates you.

Not because of something you did.

But because of jealousy.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The cold looks. The eye rolls. The constant dismissiveness. The emotional distance that lasted for decades. It was a brutal realization to understand that all the love I gave, all the care, time, energy, gifts, and support - year after year - was poured into someone who felt anger and resentment toward me for no reason other than jealousy.

Jealousy is a serious sickness. It’s one of the most destructive emotional illnesses there is - and it cannot be healed unless the person recognizes it and chooses to change.

So what can you do when you’re the target?

You distance yourself.

From the hatred.

From the jealousy.

From the negative energy.

What’s interesting is that on a spiritual level, we often already know the truth - but we live in denial. Just one week before I received that email and had that phone call, I woke up in the middle of the night as if someone was speaking directly to me:

Wake up. Don’t you see who the problem is? Don’t you see who is harming you?

Shortly before that moment, we had exchanged messages. This person said:

“You are the most hard-working person I know, and yet you are not as successful as you should be.”

My response was calm - but clear. My definition of success is not money or fame. I am successful, considering the challenges my mum and I had to fight through to be where we are today. If I died today, I would be at peace with myself and my achievements.

If someone had told the younger me - the girl who wasn’t allowed to study because of her refugee status in a cold, narrow-minded country ruled by bureaucracy - that one day I would write and publish books in several languages, write songs, and live my passion for over a decade, I would have laughed and called them crazy.

Despite everything, I studied. I earned my degrees. I speak three languages. And I am still that same little girl with dreams - except now, I live them.

That answer was my polite way of saying:

You will not dim my light.

Not because you failed to achieve your goals.

Not because you are unhappy with who you became.

And certainly not out of jealousy.

Now that I know what I know, everything finally makes sense. All those moments where I asked myself, Why is this person so heartless? Why does he treat me like an enemy?

I’m awake now. And with clarity comes relief - the same relief I felt after visiting my relatives in Germany and finally seeing the truth.

Once again, I understand why God removes certain people from my life. Not as punishment, but as protection. From further emotional damage. From spiritual harm.

If someone treats you badly, don’t tolerate it for decades like I did. If someone insults you, repeatedly hurts you, and treats you like an enemy - believe them. That person is your enemy. Distance yourself. Immediately.

And that is how the songs “Railway,” “How Dare You!,” “Please Zip It!,” and “Me, Moi, Io & Ich” were born.

Every track is dedicated to the person I trusted - and who hated me for years for no reason other than jealousy.