🚂 Der Deutschen Bahn – A First-Class Ride to the Toilet Crisis 🚂💩

As if our journey to Germany wasn’t already emotionally challenging enough, fate decided to spice things up with a few unpleasant surprises on the way there and back.

To make sure no other national or international traveler suffers the same way, I feel morally obligated to share this post as a public service announcement to anyone boarding der Deutschen Bahn in 2025. You’ve been warned!

Let’s start with the facts:

Germany, this world-renowned pioneer of engineering, efficiency, and punctuality - the land of precision and perfection - is, quite frankly, going down the toilet. And I mean that literally.

Congratulations to der Deutschen Bahn for turning “first class” into a “first mess.”

Our trip began promisingly: from Zurich Main Station to Frankfurt, everything went smoothly. Clean, calm, civilized. The moment we switched to the Regionalzug to Siegen, however, reality hit us harder than a delayed ICE announcement.

Even though we had first class tickets, the “first class” section was basically a tiny, airless cabin with four sad little rows. The smell alone deserved its own ticket category - “Eau de Deutsche Bahn.”

But let’s get to the real problem:

🚫 No working toilets.

None.

Every single one was “Out of order.”

At first, we thought it was bad luck. Then we realized - this was policy. Let’s be honest: it seems Deutsche Bahn has found a new savings strategy. Why clean and maintain toilets when you can just lock them and slap an “Außer Betrieb” sign on the door? Brilliant. Environmentally friendly, too - fewer flushes, more suffering.

We were shocked - especially watching mothers with crying babies trapped on a long, stinky train with no toilet and no plan B. The irony was unbearable. This is the same country that invented the word “Ordnung.”

After this unforgettable journey, we made an easy decision: never again. No matter how beautiful German cities are, no scenery can make up for being held hostage on a two-hour train with no functioning toilet.

The price of the ticket said “first class.”

The experience screamed “third world.”

It’s corruption disguised as mismanagement - and a shameful, unkind treatment of all generations at once.

So here’s my heartfelt travel tip for 2025:

🚽 If you must take der Deutschen Bahn, pack wisely. Bring snacks, no drinks, patience, and, most importantly, a baby potty. 

Not just for your baby. For yourself! 

And even diapers and pads. Not just for your baby. For yourself!

Because on today’s German rails, you never know when “out of order” might apply to your bladder, too.

The Myth of German Pünktlichkeit

Oh, and by the way - forget everything you’ve ever heard about German Pünktlichkeit (punctuality). That myth belongs in a museum, right next to fairy tales and functioning train toilets.

On our way back to Zurich, we missed our train - not because we were late, but because der Deutsche Bahn decided to make mysterious, spontaneous STOPS whenever and wherever it pleased. No explanation. No apology. Just pure, chaotic improvisation.

With an hour’s delay, we missed our connection and ended up stranded in freezing-cold Frankfurt Bahnhof, surrounded by what felt like hundreds of security guards - ironic, considering there’s no real sense of security in Germany anymore.

At this point, you can set your watch not by Deutsche Bahn, but against it.
Because missing your Anschlusszug (connecting train) isn’t a risk anymore - it’s a guarantee! 100%!

Bravo, Deutsche Bahn! The only thing that still runs on time is the frustration and your unkind and unfriendly staff.